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If the hurtful event you attempt to release involved someone whose relationship you otherwise value then forgiveness can lead to reconciliation. However, this isn’t always the case. Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In some cases reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn’t.

What if I have to interact with the person who hurt me but I don’t want to?

If you haven’t reached a state of forgiveness, being near the person who hurt you might be tense and stressful. To handle these situations remember that you can choose to attend or avoid specific functions and gatherings. You are always in the position to choose for yourself NO MATTER what the situation may appear to be. Respect yourself and do what seems best for YOU. If you choose to attend don’t be surprised by a certain amount of awkwardness and perhaps even more intense feelings to arouse. Do your best to keep an open heart and mind. Sometimes just engaging into the feelings that you experience can  move you forward with the process of forgiveness.

What if the person I’m forgiving doesn’t change?

Getting another person to change his or her actions, behavior or words isn’t the point,intention or motive of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change YOUR life — by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. This of it a gift you give to yourself. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in your life. You will release the karmic chord,you will stand in your own power and you will been to see possibilities that once you couldn’t see.

What if I’m the one who needs forgiveness?

The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you’ve done and how those wrongs have affected others. At the same time avoid judging yourself too harshly. You’re human, and you’ll make mistakes. How will you move forward? If you’re truly sorry for something you’ve said or done, consider admitting it to those you’ve harmed. Speak of your sincere regret and specifically ask for thier forgiveness — without making excuses. Remember however, that you can’t force someone to forgive you. Others will need to move the process of forgiveness in their own time. Whatever the outcome commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect. The same qualities that you would want to be treated with.

For more support on forgiveness plan to attend our next conversation on April 22nd ,2012 at 2pm at Ayama Yoga ( www.ayamayoga.com ) H.I.P. coaches are also available to support with one-on-one coaching session. Your first session is complimentary….www.hipcoaches.com

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