The ability to focus completely on what your partner is sharing and not sharing and to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of your partner’s desires is called active listening. This art can be practiced and developed over time if you consciously choose to do some cleanup work on yourself. It is imperative that the cleanup process takes place as active listening calls for you to be open and free from your own personal agendas.
Making yourself available in this way is also a memorable and sexy trait that is love’s first duty. Having developed this skill your partner will sense or feel into the space of deep connection with you as you allow him or her to vent and get clear without judgment or interruptions.
Being able to deeply hear your partner’s concerns, goals and to distinguish between words, tone of voice and body language are also learned skill sets that can enhance this art form and ultimately enrich your relationships.
For many of us most of the time, the only thing we are listening to is the constant dialogue going on in our head. Or the point we want to prove to make ourselves right. Sadly, most of this dialogue is negative and energy draining. Getting your internal dialogue clean, the need to be right diminished and the space of communication is safe is important for connection and intimacy.
Purposeful people know that love’s first duty is to listen and this is why our clients are taken through a “how to listen” distinction especially when communicating is an issue they are faced with. The truth is majority of us need to consistently improve on our listening skills as we evolve.
To implement active listening today in your life practice these two key ingredients:
1. Be present, attentive and focused.
2. Give up that it’s all about you.
Note that these ingredients are active and not passive positions to take. If you dare to love deeply, dare to practice listening first and begin to see your life transformed radically.
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